is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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