I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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