that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
