I hope mine doesn't look like that
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
