Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
