So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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