you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
