My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
