this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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