I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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