I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm really busy with my period
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
