Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
