Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The power of my boobs compel you
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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