you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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