I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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