ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
