So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
