he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
