I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
