IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
