i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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