shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
