her vagine was all disorganized.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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