I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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