And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
