i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
