we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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