I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
