Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
