come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
