I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
