I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I don't think brook has ever known best
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
