i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think people are normalizing furries
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
