Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
