We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
