i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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