Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
