Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
