I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
