5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
