i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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