im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
