Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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