He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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