Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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