The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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