Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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