champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
