You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
