I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
