Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
