talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
